The First Night

Tonight Darcy flew to Newcastle. I drove him to the airport and waited for him to board his flight. I tell myself that he'll be safe, that I'll be okay.

A year ago today, I was America. I was in L.A. I knew I never wanted to be away from Darcy even for a night, ever again. And since April 20th I haven't. I never thought I'd have to be again, but for the next 10 nights I'm going to be. Again I find myself in a stupid situation, if only I had organized myself better I could be with him right now. Instead, I'm alone in our room, missing him. Trying not to let the pain take over.

I know he isn't gone for long and others think I'm overreacting, being dramatic, emotional, a girl.. What we have is different to most. Most people could never understand, sadly. I don't think I'm weak for feeling this way. I know when he gets back it's going to be amazing, it is going to be like new life being breathed into our relationship to keep it alive and vital. Nothing is needed for that, but also nothing could ruin it either. So I guess I'm going to take this for what it is, something that we have to go through, it's just the way it is. I'll be okay.

I'll miss him.